THEATER OF Screams
It was the night before the 2022-23 Premier League, according to reports, and Manchester United had already plunged into a new crisis. Cristiano Ronaldo and Erik ten Hag’s new assistant are said to be together. collision trajectory following the striker’s decision to end a friendly draw last Sunday against Rayo Vallecano ahead of schedule. Based on pre-season statements of intent, it looks like desired forward, clearing out your locker and booking a one-way ticket to Spain (or Italy). The voracious press is gearing up for a new season in the top flight, sighing about this clash of the titans and whispering hints of Ten Hag’s reign. in trouble.
At this point, a reminder: the Premier League campaign is due to end on May 28, 2023. Can any of us seriously hope to endure another 10 months of this nonsense? I hope not: Ronaldo will just have to agree to a £350,000-a-week pay cut in order to sign with Nottingham Forest, which looks set to be all the rage this summer. In any case, is the bronze Portuguese Adonis Ten Hag’s biggest problem? The Fiver would say that the ongoing failure to successfully poach Frenkie de Jong from Barcelona to Old Trafford is potentially more serious, as it brings back memories of David Moyes’ fruitless attempts to sign Cesc Fàbregas in 2013, at the start of his ill-fated reign.
Ah… 2012-13. It was the last year that the mighty United won the Premier League when Alex Ferguson drew the curtain on his 26-year tenure with his last title. Since then, Moyes, Ryan Giggs, Louis van Gaal, José Mourinho, Ole Gunnar Solskjaer, Michael Carrick and Ralf Rangnick have been driving. It’s like working at United has become a poisoned bowl. Along with Ronaldo-Gate, Ten Hag is trying to get an acceptable level of play from Anthony Martial, the specter of new protests against the Glazers and an excess of substandard centre-backs.
Not to mention that Brighton, who gave United an unforgettable 4-0 win at the Amex in May, will arrive at Old Trafford on Sunday. Are Manchester United in crisis? Now that the Five think about it, maybe that’s the way it is. Good luck Eric.
QUOTE OF THE DAY
“This is reality. There is racism. There are racist people who still promote the idea that the fact that you have a different skin color makes you inferior … People who have not experienced racism are difficult to empathize with. So you explain, tell stories, what you have seen and heard, you have suffered.” Wolverhampton winger Adama Traore spoke to Sid Low about how he dealt with racism and why the knee still matters.
RECOMMENDED TO VIEW
Bournemouth jackets, David Moyes’ new tattoos and everything that happens at Everton. This is David Squires’ guide to teams for the Premier League season in two parts!
In the second part of Football Weekly’s big Premier League preview, Wolves fans are finally finding their moment – naturally after nine more teams have been announced by supporters.
“The 100 returned to the cricket schedule on Wednesday night. It got me wondering if there would ever be a football equivalent: the sport has changed enough to annoy purists but not enough to attract new fans, a concentration of top players with expensive contracts among a small number of elite clubs. Either way, I see the Premier League coming back tomorrow night.” – Ed Taylor
“I wish Z Snook (yesterday’s emails) knew that there are younger readers of Fiver – I am one of them. But then again, I also love old-fashioned terraces in non-league stadiums and a pint of stout before a game.” – Ed Basley
Re: Ben Clay’s idea for the new Lionesses slogan – can I refer to the first three words in USWNT player Sidney Leroux’s word? Biography on Twitter? — Steve Mintz.
“I am far from correcting the Noble Francis, but he is mistaken in suggesting “all sane people read the Great Website”. It’s really all left-wing people.” – Alan Webb
“The new EPL season hasn’t even started yet and Noble Francis has already received his Prize Letter of the Day. Perhaps the award should be renamed the Noble Piece Prize.” — Alistair McGillivray
Send email to email@example.com. And you can always tweet The Fiver via @guardian_sport. Today’s No Prize Letter of the Day winner is… Ed Taylor.
NEWS, BITS AND BEANS
Before Crystal Palace kick off the new Premier League season on Friday night, Patrick Vieira urged players to continue speaking out against racism. “It’s good to keep kneeling,” the manager said. “There’s a statement that needs to be made and I think it’s important to keep making that.”
After losing to Brentford last season, will Arsenal be even more woeful in the capital? “It’s different. Everything that happened before this game was pretty weird and unique,” insists Mikel Arteta. “We’re very excited and will try to start the best we can.”
Steve Cooper expects Nottingham Forest to continue spending this month. “We want to enjoy it and be the best version of ourselves,” Cooper cheered, waving a wad of twenties towards the assembled hackers. “We want to act and behave like a Premier League club.”
Everton’s manager Frank Lampard is testing the love of West Ham fans for him by trying to rid them of Amadou Onan (what’s his name?), with FLE matching West Ham’s accepted £33m offer and a player who studies at Goodison. Not good news for FLE: Dominic Calvert-Lewin will miss the start of the season with a ‘weird’ knee injury in training.
Anthony Martial will miss Manchester United’s season opener at Amex due to a training injury. Where is Erik ten Hag going to find another capable centre-forward in such a short amount of time?
Hello Transfers! Karni Chukwumeka has completed his £20m move from Aston Villa to Chelsea, while Manchester City midfielder James McAtee has joined Sheffield United on loan and Leeds’ Lewis Bate will spend the season at Oxford First League.
And David Seaman said that the glory of the Lionesses at the Euro left him with feline emotions. “It brought back great memories watching the girls, it was amazing,” Seaman chuckled at the National Cat Awards in London. Yes, you read it right.
DO YOU WANT MORE?
Manchester United fans should expect an evolution, not a revolution, in Erik ten Hag’s first season, writes Karen Carney.
Cleo Scopeliti talks to coaches and parents about the challenges women’s football faces amid the surge in interest following England’s Euro 2022 success.
It’s the penultimate day of our Premier League previews – Southampton and Tottenham, the long wait is over.
Andy Brassell’s Bundesliga preview has already begun and – spoiler alert – Bayern Munich are likely to win the title.
After years of relentless ties to the English top flight, Kalidou Koulibaly has finally moved to Chelsea. Here he is chatting with Ed Aarons.
Can Erik ten Hag pull Hakim Ziyech out of the bin while Chelsea toss Frenkie De Jong into their cart? The rumor mill is checking it out.
And if it’s your business… you can follow a big website in a big social FaceSpace. As well as INSTACHAT, TOO!