Sports FOOTBALL News about the matches, modest boasting and the last...

News about the matches, modest boasting and the last word for Tugai


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The new season of the Championship starts in 37 days. For God’s sake, someone please STOP FOOTBALL. However, they are not going to do this, and to clarify this point, The Man has now published a list of fixtures for this. Reaching 74,391 pages, this is a real screed, these poor burnt pack players, they are not up to the holiday, surely at some point someone should listen to Jurgen Klopp. But such a long document will inevitably contain one or two interesting facts, and we are almost sure that we can get two more paragraphs out of it. If we brazenly vamp.

The opening game is a big game between two old school powerhouses. Huddersfield Town would still suffer from their promotion play-off experience in which they won two penalties but were not allowed to use any of them. Not allowed. They again go up against Burnley, now managed by Ne Sean Dyche, a fact that will be mentioned in every match report until at least the beginning of the calendar year, February or March, if things go wrong for Vincent Kompany. We’re pretty sure the rookie will pull it off given his record at Anderlecht which led him to a pair of third places in historic two-horse races in the Belgian league, with just 13 points on one occasion. behind a club playing in the top flight for the first time in 48 years. Long live Not Sean Dyche!

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Burnley got off to a rocky start because after that upsetting Opening Day defeat they host another knockout play-off team in Luton before heading to Watford a week later. But recently relegated teams these days usually bounce back immediately. Norwich, past masters of this increasingly tiring state of affairs, are embarking on their latest utterly futile title campaign at Cardiff City, who will reportedly have to adjust somehow to Gareth Bale, 73, and now with a blue badge. And speaking of the newly drawn Qatar Human Rights Festival, the season for it will be suspended for most of the month, after which the routine will drag on again until early May, presumably without Bale, who, having done his bit for the old country in Qatar, will pay attention to something to secure a spot on the LIV Tour.


“I just stumbled across this by accident. I only came with a backpack and nothing was organized so I just wandered around. I started volunteering at this shelter, participated in a few games and just found the football culture incredible.” Michael Noone went to Africa in search of change, and now he has an academy for boys and girls in one of the poorest areas of Tanzania. Here is the story.

Route One Academy in Tanzania. Photograph: Michael Noone


“I wonder how Shortbred MacPhyver can relate to the fact that, due to Big Website’s commitment to global football, I read with interest that Immanue Ferai is moving from Borussia Dortmund to Eintracht Braunschweig, but I don’t hear anything about Paul McGinn (star, a real fitba merchant) left Hibs for Motherwell. Remember those days of the €$£ protests when we all pretended that football was for everyone, that all fans shared the same instinctive passion for their teams, and that financial hierarchies were a disease, not a cure. It seems that there is one rule for Eintracht Braunschweig of the whole world, and a completely different one for the Motherwells, ”Alexander Macmillan.

“No mention in the last few fives of the 2022-2023 season, which officially kicks off with Grand Cup preliminary round matches featuring the giants from Estonia, Andorra, San Marino and Iceland? Why do I waste my lunch every day reading this so-called football bulletin if the most important matches are not covered?” — Emmet Filippelli.

“My favorite player going back to the previous history of the club (Five letter passim) is related to Tugay. In May 2009, everyone at Blackeye Rovers wanted him to stay, from the tea lady to the costume chief, and the latter had a contract open, ready to be signed. However, Sam Allardyce vetoed the one-year extension, presumably because Tugai was both skilled and popular. The Turkish legend got his revenge early next season when he was again invited to the halftime draw. Instead of descending from the corporate areas and exiting the tunnel in the traditional manner, he entered the pitch at one of the open corners about 10 minutes later and paraded in front of the adoring Blackburn End and around the pitch towards the tunnel. , to the loudest roar Ewood Park has heard all season.” — Tristan Stock

Tugai in the window, circa 2003.
Tugai in the window, circa 2003. Photograph: Christopher Thomond/The Guardian

Send your emails to And you can always tweet The Fiver via @guardian_sport. Today’s winner of our No Prize Letter of the Day is… Tristan Stock.


Eight people who cared for Diego Maradona will stand trial for murder, according to a ruling released following an investigation into his death. In a 236-page document, the responsible judge questioned “the behavior – active or inactive – of each of the defendants that led to and contributed to the realization of a harmful result.”

Sheffield United pair Oli McBurney and Ryan Brewster have been charged following a police investigation into incidents following a loss to Nottingham Forest in the Championship play-off semi-finals. It is not yet known what the players are accused of.

Five members of the Eritrean women’s under-20 team who escaped after last year’s tournament in Uganda are still in hiding.

German football will allow transgender, intersex and non-binary players to decide whether to play on men’s or women’s teams. “With the regulation of the right to play, we are creating additional important prerequisites for players of different gender identities to be able to play,” said Thomas Hitzlperger, DFB Diversity Officer.

Jed Wallace is apparently about to lead the P-4 to the new club West Brom after arriving from Millwall. “He has speed, power, penetration in the last third and, above all, he is the best professional,” said Steve Bruce.

Mr. P comes to the Baggies' pre-season practice.
Mr. P comes to the Baggies’ pre-season practice. Photo: Adam Fragley/West Bromwich Albion/Guette

Helping Rotherham to the Championship, the Miller pair, Michael Smith and Michael Ihekwe, quickly descended the A6109 into League One with neighbors Sheffield Wednesday.

Dundee United’s new boss Jack Ross is not going to let his sack from the Hibs drag on after he’s been given a new deal. “I’m pretty good at parking things quickly,” he exclaimed. “I was hurt at the time, but you move on and reflect.”

And Nottingham Forest defender Steve Cook has become the new owner of the non-Sussex Westfield side. “I’m glad it’s all over,” he cheered. “The idea was in line with my current ambition and desire to help local football.”


Englishwoman Lucy Bronze modestly boasts to Susie Rack: “I had offers from Lyon and Barça, two of the best teams in the world. It was good to choose from this.

Guaranteed but modest bragging of the gold standard.
Guaranteed but modest bragging of the gold standard. Photo: Naomi Baker/UEFA/Getty Images

Todd Boeli driving for Chelsea. What to expect, muses Jacob Steinberg.

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